13:21

I just finished taking the English regent.

While I wait for Kevin to get my phone for me,

I stand on the street alone and spent time with myself.

No music, no message alert, no phones.

Basically there's just me and the sound of the street.

There's sound of seagull accompanied by the smell of the ground after rain.

The weather is extremely good compared to the harsh winter cold few days ago.

The air is still chilly due to the wind, but it's comforting to take a deep breath while standing there alone.

This is a one of the rarest time where lonely agrees with me.

I just stood there, staring at god knows something, and a weird sad feeling rush up to me.

The last time I can remember with such good weather is the time I spent with Mandy at Washington Square Park. 

It's probably March or April.

Life was calm, there's nothing I need to worry.

No homework, no test.

I did spent a decent amount of time with Mandy at that time and it felt great.

It was Sakura season, few trees in the park with blooming. 

We took lots of pictures like we used to do.

I don't think I'm under a lot of pressure right now.

But I really miss the time when I'm as free as I want.

That's why I think I have to pull myself back.

Put a leash on myself,

the feeling of freedom can't always be positive.

I can see myself in the worst position I can be if I continue to let myself go.

And yet, how much I miss that feeling.

I'm at library this very second.

The heat from the heater warm my face and hand,

but it feels unnatural. 

Like something is just wrong, a tiny thing,

but struck me greatly.

Like that needle in your palm that hurts only when you touch it.

Other times, it remained there safe and sound, 

but is painful even to watch.